The 7 Holiday Cards You Send from Your Brand New Home
Moving to a new home during the holidays can be stressful. Packing, unpacking, finding your way around a new neighborhood, finding your stuff in all those boxes...all of those things can make for a holiday that's less than serene. Emerging with your holiday cheer intact can be a challenge! And then there's the yearly card, even more important this year since it's an easy way to share your new address. Deciding what message to send your friends and family says a lot about who you are.
Which of these would you choose?
1. You really care about what people think.
Keeping up with the Joneses? Nah. You're better than them. Your photo will be carefully composed, with all moving boxes out of sight. In fact, you probably took it during a showing, when the front porch was staged to within an inch of its life, before you even put a bid on the house. True story: You took a picture at every house you saw. Just in case. Your Realtor really didn't enjoy that aspect of working with you. And the kids hated wearing matching Christmas sweaters in July.
2. You like to party, and you don't like to cook.
Your holiday card is actually a housewarming invitation, pretty much the only party you can throw in your own honor, and you ask for gifts. You'll thoughtfully suggest that people bring a dish to share, because, "We haven't had time to unpack the kitchen yet! Ha, ha, ha!" You know the truth; You have no intention of cooking in that kitchen, and you'll be freezing everyone's leftovers to feed yourself in the coming winter months. If you're really awful, you could suggest that people bring canned goods for the needy, and keep them for yourself.
3. You value honesty.
You'll send a blurry shot, taken by one of the movers right before they pulled away from the curb. You're wearing torn sweats, and one of the kids is crying about a broken toy, while the other one is kicking one of your new neighbors. The dog is vomiting in the driveway because he gets carsick. The cat is looking at you all with disdain. Ask yourself: Do you really need to send this one? Do you honestly believe people want to see a picture of your real life? No, Debbie Downer, they do not.
4. You're a humble bragger.
Your picture is perfect, probably because you had a stylist come to the house to help you get ready, including hair and makeup, and you hired a professional photographer, but you won't share that information. The accompanying family letter is looooong, and includes information about your son's impressive chess tournament record, your daughter's ability to start on every varsity team in her new school, and your enormous, expensive new home. You'll talk about how you spend so much time carpooling, "Because these kids just love everything they do! And I can't possibly make them choose between a budding singing career and a chance at an athletic scholarship!" You barely have time to get unpacked and meet with the decorators. "We'd love to see you, but please forgive our mess!" That mess will include a throw pillow out of place and cotton cocktail napkins instead of the starched linen. Also? Your spouse's new job is amazing and, you won't actually name the salary, but everyone will know when you say, "Taylor's new job is a dream come true!" and include your new Mercedes in the background of your picture. You won't mention that your son's girlfriend just got busted for selling weed and that you just learned your daughter has a DIY tattoo, on her neck. Because of course you won't.
5. You think you're funny, and you like to start rumors. About yourself.
Okay, you are funny. Add some random people to your photo - bonus points if one of them is pregnant or sporting a mohawk - and send out your card with no explanation, just "Happy Holidays from the Humperdincks!" Need some inspiration? This guy nailed it. Leave people wondering why you really moved.
6. You're tacky and entitled.
Send a card with a link to your crowdfunding campaign, the one you're hoping will net you some sweet new kitchen gear, maybe a whole new sofa. On the campaign page, include information about how broke you are after buying such an enormous home, with walk-in closets in every room, because you needed it to store all your designer duds. Go ahead and mention that the cruise you took over Thanksgiving also took a toll on your budget. I dare you.
7. You're a realist, with friends who get it.
This year, you'll be skipping the card, or sending an e-card, with or without a picture. Maybe you'll send a Happy New Year card, or Easter. Or next Christmas.
What kind of holiday card are you sending from your new home? If you didn't move, have you gotten any of these this year?